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=== FlyNTonyBs story ===
Been a while since I've been on here but figured I'd share what I consider to be a funny Holiday tale with you all.

So, I was visiting my family living in AZ for the holidays and I was at a friend's house with my older bro. He had a couple of Tequila shots and started acting up a bit and talking trash to me saying stuff like "Tony thinks he's all bad now that he's taking jiu jitsu, but he's full of crap, blah blah blah".

So my friend chimes in and they both start talking crap all in a good hearted, joking way, but then my bro reached out to push me.

So, I arm-dragged him (bro) and spun to his back and slapped on a very loose, sloppy RNC. Then, he turned in towards me so I switched to a guillotine while at the same time he tried to single-leg me. I immediately sprawled which took him to his hands and knees at which point he turtled up. Then, just to be a wise guy, I did a couple of 360s on his back. That's when he came unglued and threatened to smash my nose in with his elbow. I sayed, how are you going to do that? You're all locked up. Then he got more pissed so I let him up.

Then he aggressed me and cocked his arm back as if to deliver an elbow to my suckhole so I just moved in and put him in a sloppy, whitebelt style arm triangle while standing up and told him to quit telegraphing so much ROFL Then, I just let go of it. Man, he got so pissed, he kept asking me if I wanted a broken nose at the top of his lungs. I simply laughed and sayed "no, I don't want a broken nose or anything but I'm not worried about it because you don't have the ability to administer one of those at this time Mr. Green Anyhow, he screamed and yelled at me the whole way home until he gassed himself out.

Then, the next day he told me that if we were actually in a fight, he would win because he'd have the advantage of being crazier. I laughed and explained that he would only gas himself out even faster.

Man, I just realized this story makes me sound like I think I'm tough or something which definitely isn't the case Embarassed I simply got a preview of what it would be like to face an untrained aggressor in an uncontrolled environment and even as a whitebelt, it was trivial to handle the situation.

In the end, I've decided not to entertain any more crap talking because when you actually back yourself up and lock up your friends or relatives, their fragile egos have a way of making them completely lose it. Next time I'll just say "yep, you can kick my ass. I fear you; please spare me". 


=== Colivieri story ===
After a couple of requests I’m putting my history up, on the use of my super BJJ powers while visiting a certain “party street” a few weeks back

I was during my off hours walking around the French Quarters when I’d see this guy looking funny at my general direction, looking at my front left pocket… I’d think…probably one of them freaks checking at my package…but no, he was checking at my wallet, which I changed from my back pocket to my front left pocket. I figured out his intentions and let the guy that was with me to get ready…
As soon as I was saying it, the burglar went for my pocket from my 10 o’clock (that's front left side). He was using his left hand, facing him, that’s with the back of his hand towards me. I reach down with both my hands, locking the hand, and going hard on my left knee, twisting my right shoulder down and to the left. I felt a clear sequence of cracks and a scream… he went down, rolling to his back, pretty much under me, I postured up to my feet, and went for a knee on stomach, still having a good grip on his hand….going for the standing armbar. I check around me before going hard, and saw two other guys coming at us from each side screaming at me to leave him alone… I pushed my him some more, almost to the breaking point, the guy was screaming again, I let go, stand up, and walked away. None mess with us… none tried to stop us.

The funny thing is not that, 3 days after that, walking a few blocks from the other day… I felt another hand into my pant pocket…. This time the stupid guy (another one, obviously) from my right side and behind me in a mildly crowded street, so I was not that alert… I moved my left hand to secure the intruder’s hand in my pocket, and went throwing something like an upper cut with my right, hooking the straight arm of the guy…. And yep, I said “Thank you Helio and Carlos” and went for the nicest shoulder throw that I have done no-gi ;) The guy landed absolutely flat on his back, COMPLETELY OUT!!!! I had second thought about finishing him by taking the arm home, but I realized he had enough….
This guy was alone or nobody cared for him, because no one came to his help, a few guys around me realized what happened, including my business partner who always had been messing with me about my “UFC crap”… all he was able to say, with the biggest eye I have seen him yet “dude! That f@cking thing works!!!! You’re for real!” … and of course I got all the rounds for free the rest of the week

I realized that in the original mention of the use of my BJJ powers I said guy…I accidentally omitted an s, it was 2 different occasions’ within a few days

Be safe!!!
=== Engineer' story ===

Some moron tried to RNC me from standing. We were just talking with the guys and boom out of nowhere this dumbass tries to throw on a modified RNC using a palm to palm grip. I immediately defended and stepped behind his legs; reached down and grabbed the legs picking him up and then set him down on the ground gently. I knew he was just messing with me or i would have set him down a bit....harder. He gave up the moment he hit the ground and said something like "OK OK ive had enough!". At this point im about to show him how to apply one properly as he had already turned his back to me but decided to let it go considering he already gave up, but i was tempted.

Its funny because this guy has been harassing me for weeks at work calling me "Jujitsu boy" and making all sorts of rude/gay comments, yet he gives up the moment hes in trouble....coward. lol.

Anyone else have some workplace bjj stories? Im sure theres more, hehe.
=== Author missing ===
I had to use BJJ in School

I was walking back to class after lunch, and I was talking to them about football, when this kid I don't know very well jumped on my back. He wrapped his arm around my neck, and was choking me. I didn't even think, I just dropped my center of gravity, while I pulled down on his arm, and bucked my hips. Wham, he flew over my shoulder, and right into the wall.  

I was like "OH s***," but a bunch of other kids were laughing, and saying Daaamn. Well there was a security guard there, and he took us both down to the office, so I brought my friends as witnesses. 

The vice principal got both of our stories, and then talked to the security guard and the witnesses. Finally, he told me that he had to call my parents because I had thrown this kid into the wall, but he said that I wasn't in trouble because it was a proven case of self defense.  

Anyways, I heard a lot about maybe that MMA that you do is good for something. I looked at them funny and said "THAT was Judo." 

Anyways, a funny story I hope you enjoy

P.S. Kids stopped telling me that Judo and Jiu Jitsu was gay.  Imagine that.

===FlyntonyB's story ===

Posted: Mon Jan 19, 2009 7:16 pm    Post subject: Haha, I armbarred somebody at work today!  	
Hopefully, you'll all enjoy this little story from this afternoon. So, my whole department is getting laid off on January 30th so everyone is kind of acting like it's the last weeks of school or something. Amidst this silliness, one of my coworkers who is a pretty big fight fan with some stand up training in addition to a little bit of wrestling decides he wants to catch me off guard. He's about 5'11" tall at around 180 lbs. I'm around 5'8" tall around 165 lbs. Anyway, I see him in my periphery sneaking up on me and then he tries to shoot in for a takedown and actually manages to get one of my legs. Next, I get one of his legs and he releases my leg in order to attempt a guillotine on me, which I defend. I pull guard and break down his posture and get a collar choke on him. I didn't finish the choke because I didn't want to destroy his shirt. However, he did carelessly leave his arm within reach while attempting to pass my guard. So, I secured the arm, pushed his face aside, swung my leg around his head and across his face, secured the arm with my knees and took the armbar. Mr. Green My friend who's arm I took was like "damn, those jiu jitsu classes are paying off man". I was cracking up.

===Solarwinds story===
Well, it finally happened. I have not been in a fight in freakin' forever. My wife and I are at McDonald's grabbin' a couple of milkshakes for the kids in the drive through. Some @$$Hole decides he needs back in line and cuts me off by basically forcing the front of his car between our truck and the car in front of us. I didn't WANT to fight, but when someone does something like that, a reaction is to be expected. So I honk, and stick my head out the window and yell, "Hey dude, what is your problem?" Instead of explaining himself, (which he should have done in the first place), he says "bleep you, I'm going next!" We're next in line to the window mind you, so I would assume he had already ordered and maybe something was wrong with his order. "You need to learn some manners (butt)hole" I said, and the next thing I know, he's out of his car and headed towards me. He stops a few feet in front of my door and starts telling me to get out so he can kick my (butt). I tell him to go get back in his car and STFU. I put the vehicle in park fortunately because we had been there for a few minutes, then he charges at our truck trying to punch me through the window. I brushed his feeble attempt at a punch towards the steering wheel, turned, and caught him in a guillotine as he had his head half stuffed in our truck during his attempt at hitting me. I pulled him in a bit further and really sunk it in tight, my wife is freaking out, my kids are crying and I've got this idiot half dragged into my car. I think he was on the cusp of unconsciousness when I let him go, he dropped to the ground on his butt. He kind of looked around as if he didn't know where he was, I was opening the door to defend further if needed, as he drug himself to his feet and bolted to his car, backed up and sped away. Fortunately, nothing came of it, but I am still in amazement that it even happened at all.
=== Flashlocks story===
I was invited by a buddy who does ninjutsu to come his school. He's a brown belt, and when I showed up there were 2 black belt along with him. They wanted to test their ground game.

I warned them I only had 3 months experience at the time, and not to take anything I said or did as real BJJ. Anyway, I let them start from mount, and I bucked them all off and choked them all out, RNC within 10 seconds.

It's amazing how horrible people are that don't do BJJ when they're grappling.

Another time, a young guy came in just out of the Australian Army. He was IN SHAPE and about 10 years younger than me (I'm 33). He looked tough, but when it came to it, he could not get me off of him. I just laid on him until he exhausted himself thrashing around, then I choked him out with a collar choke.

People just do not get it...