Child doesn’t understand BJJ is fighting…

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  • #1443680

    Nietzsche_Keen
    Participant

    Has anyone else had this experience? I’m seeking advice. My son just turned four in December ’16. I only recently got parental rights and the right to see him. His mother’s family raise him to never be rough or do anything even remotely violent, like football, tee ball or especially dodge ball or martial arts.

    As a result, he doesn’t understand that he’s supposed to do take downs or mount etc. and ends up getting taken down or, as he did once, just immediately lie on his back when the other kid comes towards him. I’ve been trying to get rougher with him and work with him at home, but it’s like he cant grasp the concept of fighting. Unfortunately, he is only able to go to BJJ once a week when I have him.

    Do you think he will eventually catch on? Any advice. I took martial arts for many years when I was young and enjoyed it and I want him to enjoy it also. But more importantly I want him to learn to fight back and not be a complete push over. Thanks!

    #1660049

    bma_mat
    Participant

    He’s young enough to teach of course. Look up Gracie bully proof. Teaches tons of fun games to play with him that will teach him in the same time

    #1660050

    Nietzsche_Keen
    Participant

    Thanks. He’s enrolled at Gracie Barra and they incorporate a little of that in the classes. If they have another Bully Proof type situation again soon, I plan to get him involved. In the meantime, I’m just trying to get him to fight back in class instead of just letting his partner knock him down every time.

    #1660051

    Girafa
    Participant

    Moat important thing is he enjoys what he’s doing otherwise he will want to quit. Maybe jiu jitsu is not for him.

    #1660052

    bma_mat
    Participant

    I meant that you should look into the bullyproof games, and play them with him when you two are at home or whatever.  

    As to class, at his age it just matters that he’s having fun.  If he wants to flop on his back, let him.  
    If you want him to go towards a certain path, the best surefire way to fuck it up is to put pressure on him.  Pressure on an activity at that age kills the enjoyment, and turns it into a task, or worse, into something he does just to impress you.
    Find creative ways to make him choose to be aggressive and reward him for when he does it.  The bullyproof games are great just for this. 

    Something like this will do a lot more for him that you may think.  It teaches him to hold and control the position, without telling him that he needs to learn it, because he just thinks he’s having fun.
    #1660053

    Nietzsche_Keen
    Participant

    Cool. I didn’t know about the games. I’ll check them out.

    #1660054

    jackjitsu
    Keymaster

    What mat said.  I used bully proof game with some young kids. Worked great.

    Also, the kid is 4. Dont sweat it. Make sure they are having fun, and it will come.
    #1660055

    GABJJgirl
    Participant

    I teach kids ages 4-13 and at that age it’s very common for kids to not understand that it’s about fighting, even older kids. It’s totally age appropriate and healthy for him to think its about playing.

    #1660056

    regaldeagle
    Participant

    I think I pressured my kids too much when they were training because as they’ve gotten older their interest has dropped to zero.

    #1660057

    JitsTat
    Participant

    Bma_mat said it perfectly

    #1660058

    bma_mat
    Participant

    Try not to get too frustrated, but stick with it. A father is extremely important in a boy’s life, and I’m sure you know that. He’ll pick up stuff on his own pace, you can’t really control what he ends up loving to do, but you sure as hell can control what he’s exposed to.

    #1660059

    halfguardian
    Participant

    Maybe just play a game like tip. Maybe americans call it catch? You have to chase him and grab him and hold onto him. And then he has to chase you and hold onto you. Maybe it will teach him to be physically forceful by not letting go?

    #1660060

    rediska
    Participant

    There is more to fighting than jiujitsu. Teach the boy how to plaly chess and explain that a submission is like checkmate. I can’t believe no one has suggested it yet.

    #1660061

    bma_mat
    Participant

    There is more to fighting than jiujitsu. Teach the boy how to plaly chess and explain that a submission is like checkmate. I can’t believe no one has suggested it yet.

    … Jack, can’t add some tag to his name? Forum troll maybe?. This shit is hilarious.

    Next he’ll offer to teach the kids chess in his local park, under light rain and slightly wet grass

    #1660062

    rediska
    Participant

    There is more to fighting than jiujitsu. Teach the boy how to plaly chess and explain that a submission is like checkmate. I can’t believe no one has suggested it yet.

    … Jack, can’t add some tag to his name? Forum troll maybe?. This shit is hilarious.

    Next he’ll offer to teach the kids chess in his local park, under light rain and slightly wet grass

    Mat, your insults are annoying, but all you really do is embarass yourself. IF YOUR COACHES MISTREAT YOU, IT’S NOT MY FAULT, NOT BY ANY STRETCH OF IMAGINATION, SO STOP VENTING AT ME. 

    IT IS NOT MY FAULT YOU ARE STUCK ON BROWN WHEN YOU SHOULD BE AT BLACK
     Jack, can you explain to this guy that personal attacks are not okay?

    Meanwhile I’ll stick to learning chess lore to improve myself.
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